Father's Day Weekend
Jun. 18th, 2023 01:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dollyrogerflag Warning: mentions of implied abuse & smoking. I do not advocate damaging the lungs.
Before I start of sharing my picture dump from the past couple of weeks, I like to mindfully wish my belated grandfather & my father a Happy Father's Day. While they weren't child development's textbook definition of perfect parents, I was never physically neglected by them. I'm not going to get into what they could have done better, but at least I know what not to repeat if Bern and I do end up raising a child in the future.
So what were the things he did right? My father, who often worked overtime, was great about penciling in most weekends with my brother and I growing up. He valued going outdoors and made sure we were active. Our weekends were always filled with local parks, beach trips, & kid-friendly hiking places at state parks. Also, he was considered the cool uncle/ brother-in-law when I was a toddler, so I had my young aunt, uncles, and cousins who would often tag along with us. Sometimes, he would switch it up and do scenic night drives on hills to catch city lights or he would take us all to some interesting arcades. I used to address my dad as Uncle Johnny* as a toddler because my cousins were around a lot.
I remember a handful of McDonald's drive thru trips and Chuck E. Cheese hangouts on weekdays, but I then later learn as an adult that was a way for my dad to blow off steam from my uncle (his narcissistic* older brother) while my mother worked night shifts. I believe he didn't want my brother and I to see our uncle's outbursts. We became homeless for a bit because of him... my father had to protect my brother and I (that's how we both ended up living with our maternal grandparents). Unfortunately, he couldn't protect our cousins & his sister-in-law.
My maternal grandpa used to make passive aggressive comments about my dad's siblings and I thought my grandpa was being mean in that regards, but now I've just realized why he did them. I guess as a child, you don't realize how ill some adults were and the ones who cared for you weren't too open about articulating it.
My gramps wasn't the most social person, he was just a quiet man who loved his coffee mornings. He was also a heavy smoker, he loved his pipe and his 555 cigs. However, him being a quiet person and heavy smoker doesn't negate the fact that he's one of the most sweetest person around...before my grandma's dementia, she talked about how she misses him a lot. I always loved the contraptions and playgrounds he built for my brother and I. When he saw how I was confident with my balance, he was the first person who taught me how to ride a bike! He was always there to help my grandma with food preparations. Like a lot of people in my family, he's quite green thumbed. It's nice to know that his garden pieces are still around.
Once again, cheers to the men in my life who did their best.
*Note: Johnny isn't really his name since I don't need to have my parents' name out there.
Also, my family and I are speculating that our uncle was a narcissist, he was never properly diagnosed.
And now, my Vitamin D- walk pics with Bern:
I love doing hilly walks, I've been doing mental scavenger hunts with different architectural buildings: storybook, 20s buildings and Mid Century modern homes. If you haven't heard of Paul Revere Williams, check out his stuff! He's one of the notable architects who've designed and influenced a lot of Mid Century styles in Los Angeles.
And because I was advised not to have any hard or crunchy foods after my wisdom tooth extraction, I've made blueberry pancakes for one day and congee with youtiao (I know it looks a bit lumpy, but I still liked it) for one other day. I've also made a delicious eggplant stir fry, but I don't really want to share my night time photography right now. XD
Before I start of sharing my picture dump from the past couple of weeks, I like to mindfully wish my belated grandfather & my father a Happy Father's Day. While they weren't child development's textbook definition of perfect parents, I was never physically neglected by them. I'm not going to get into what they could have done better, but at least I know what not to repeat if Bern and I do end up raising a child in the future.
So what were the things he did right? My father, who often worked overtime, was great about penciling in most weekends with my brother and I growing up. He valued going outdoors and made sure we were active. Our weekends were always filled with local parks, beach trips, & kid-friendly hiking places at state parks. Also, he was considered the cool uncle/ brother-in-law when I was a toddler, so I had my young aunt, uncles, and cousins who would often tag along with us. Sometimes, he would switch it up and do scenic night drives on hills to catch city lights or he would take us all to some interesting arcades. I used to address my dad as Uncle Johnny* as a toddler because my cousins were around a lot.
I remember a handful of McDonald's drive thru trips and Chuck E. Cheese hangouts on weekdays, but I then later learn as an adult that was a way for my dad to blow off steam from my uncle (his narcissistic* older brother) while my mother worked night shifts. I believe he didn't want my brother and I to see our uncle's outbursts. We became homeless for a bit because of him... my father had to protect my brother and I (that's how we both ended up living with our maternal grandparents). Unfortunately, he couldn't protect our cousins & his sister-in-law.
My maternal grandpa used to make passive aggressive comments about my dad's siblings and I thought my grandpa was being mean in that regards, but now I've just realized why he did them. I guess as a child, you don't realize how ill some adults were and the ones who cared for you weren't too open about articulating it.
My gramps wasn't the most social person, he was just a quiet man who loved his coffee mornings. He was also a heavy smoker, he loved his pipe and his 555 cigs. However, him being a quiet person and heavy smoker doesn't negate the fact that he's one of the most sweetest person around...before my grandma's dementia, she talked about how she misses him a lot. I always loved the contraptions and playgrounds he built for my brother and I. When he saw how I was confident with my balance, he was the first person who taught me how to ride a bike! He was always there to help my grandma with food preparations. Like a lot of people in my family, he's quite green thumbed. It's nice to know that his garden pieces are still around.
Once again, cheers to the men in my life who did their best.
*Note: Johnny isn't really his name since I don't need to have my parents' name out there.
Also, my family and I are speculating that our uncle was a narcissist, he was never properly diagnosed.
And now, my Vitamin D- walk pics with Bern:
I love doing hilly walks, I've been doing mental scavenger hunts with different architectural buildings: storybook, 20s buildings and Mid Century modern homes. If you haven't heard of Paul Revere Williams, check out his stuff! He's one of the notable architects who've designed and influenced a lot of Mid Century styles in Los Angeles.
And because I was advised not to have any hard or crunchy foods after my wisdom tooth extraction, I've made blueberry pancakes for one day and congee with youtiao (I know it looks a bit lumpy, but I still liked it) for one other day. I've also made a delicious eggplant stir fry, but I don't really want to share my night time photography right now. XD
