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Happy March; Been Hanging out on RedNote

As somewhat who is currently still social-distancing (90 percent of the time) for health reasons, I've managed to make quite some online friends that aren't only limited to blogging or online forums. At this point, the XHS app has been my go-to app, especially since I have made friends by vocal interactions through live chats. Even despite being a bit on the introverted side, I do crave for genuine human interaction (while being able to social distance) and XHS has been a perfect app for that! So far, I'm in two different groups: a chill vibes only live chat, and a community with poetry, books, movies and film. The "chill vibes only" live chat can get pretty chaotic at times, however, I met some pretty interesting folks who have really made my day. As for the language arts community, I follow a streamer who recites poetry: both in Chinese and English-- I made so many friends from that chat. The vibes are very cozy and it was nice getting graphic novel and movies recommendations from a cultured bunch. So far, a friend of mine from India recommended me to check out the Untamed(both manhua & live series)

I am slowly learning Mandarin-- especially learning the four tones. Even as somewhat who's familiar with tonal languages, it can still be difficult for me to grasp.

I told Bern that I desire to travel once again because I feel like I am caged up in a bubble. The pandemic and c4ncer robbed most of my plans-- now that I'm feeling a better health wise, I just want to resume where I left off. We're hoping to fly out in the next two years. I do have a couple of pen pals who wants me to stop by their city and I'll have to see if I'm able to pencil in for one trip. I can't say these are promises, but just wishful dreams.

Also, when it comes to fashion-scrolling, I don't feel the need to subscribe Elle or Vogue when I can just browse through my XHS fashion feed for trendy fomos. I can say that my FYP feed sure knows my taste after a few weeks of interaction.

Because I've been so focused on physical fitness along with other hobbies, I haven't been able to sit down to reflect and update an entry. That's not necessarily a bad thing due to the fact that I've been adamant about staying in shape-- it's my priority. I'm quite content that I was able to make progress over the past couple of months. I don't expect to be extremely ripped as Street Fighter character, however I've been able to sleep better! I feel better too. I've managed to drastically decrease my blood sugar. Since egg prices are still quite high, I haven't been able to eat any egg-based foods since my last entry. It has been over a month!

I'm quite grateful that I am able to do some reflection today, especially with the rain in the background.

Anyways, I decided to fuse my Boa Hancock cosplay accessories with my OOTD. I like how that this turned out. Living in LA, I think it won't be long until non-coat season will be up again. I may have to move to a cooler location to experience full coat season once again. I'm starting to become more comfortable with taking selfies once again. If you are already following me on other social media platforms, yes, you probably seen my face. Sometimes I just want to feel like a character-- I just want to role play.

Did some journaling these past couple of months, and that's pretty much why I've been preoccupied. My hobbies are taking over my life.

I hung out with a friend who had a connecting flight at Bob Hope. He was in between times, so we just hung out and chat. We basically grabbed some kebab dishes from an Armenian restaurant.

Tasks for this month:

-Practice my watercolor/ gouache
-Continue my workout
-Reorganize my living space

Current Mood: restless
Current Location: Los Angeles
Current Music: Like A Virgin Cover- Kei Mizutani

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(no subject)

Do you remember what it is like to flip channels on the television and not pick a tv show to watch?

Well, that's how my brain behaving at the moment. I hope that in writing this entry, I get control of my mind so that I can get my important tasks done. I think I have been over stimulated that I feel a bit behind at times. I can't be too hard on myself because:

1. In my county, two new fires (Santa Ana wind once again) just dropped and it was hella lit

. Sorry, dark humor and yes, fires are scary. I've been cooped up indoors because of potential ashes or toxic debris travel through wind. I haven't open any our windows yet; we kept our filters on. I ended up doing my workout indoors and I've been pretty consistent until the past couple of days. But after this blog, I will get my butt back to the floor mat.

2. I thought Tiktok would get banned? At this point, I really don't know anymore. I ended up archiving some food recipe videos and some of my art videos. I made sure to follow any moots on different platforms.

3. Since I thought Tiktok would be gone (and maybe it will get banned in the future), I downloaded Xiao Hong Shu (The Little Red Book/ Red Note) and partook in a historical American and Chinese cultural exchange. To be quite honest, not a whole lot about China surprises my American mind, especially as someone who's already familiar with world history & dialectical materialism. It is finally nice to see pen pals clearing decades of misunderstanding; exchanging language lessons; finding ways to properly communicate; sending cat memes.

People of all age group having genuine interactions with one another. It felt like a 2000s AOL chatroom. I don't know how long this exchange will last, but it certainly opened doors to the future.

This person sums up my feelings and experience regarding to the Sinophobia in Spring 2020. The Little Red Book pretty much dismantled that misplaced rage that most Westerners harbored.

I spent the whole week watching steamed eggs (ji dan geng) recipes. Here were my attempts:

I know they're not as pretty as the images I've seen on the recipes, but they're still good! I learned to not overcook these eggs and using warm water is key to smoothness.

4. David Lynch passed away. I did a bit of mental reflection of all of his films that left a big impression on me.

5. Just finished my Nutcracker Squirrel babe drawing & Boa Hancock fan art for the Year of the Snake. I got three Drawcember prompts done, that's quite something. So, yay for me.

Well then, I hope you are all doing well. I hope January has been good to you all. We have a bunch of new years inching ahead. So grab your cup, and let us *cheers* to the future.

Current Location: Los Angeles

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Toxic air; Workout routine on a halt

a picture of the sun in a toxic air, in Los Angeles rolls of tape and scissors

About a few days ago, we had a wind storm in our area. It's quite windy that it actually took some massive trucks out as if you were to tip a cow to its sides. A friend of ours mentioned that we haven't been getting any rain at all, we were expecting our wet season. With the chaparrals region being under drought combined with the intensity of the wind pretty much equals fire. Before the wind storm happened, Bern and I feared this would happen and it did. We saw what happened in Nor Cal; similar situation with the wind in Los Angeles County. Hearing about fires is not unique to us, we have friends who lost their homes to them. However, we're still pretty shocked because it's winter.

Everyone in our local circle are from middle class, working class families, different ethnicities and racial backgrounds. These are people who work in service jobs or trade-related work. Back then around most of the 20th century to the 80s, a sizable suburban homes were affordable for working class families to purchase. People have built communities in towns where they felt belong and accepted. There are BIPOC communities. They have been living there for generations. Until after the 90s, the value of their homes increased at a high value. This is a common thing that tends to happen at any populated region with high economy.

My family called/ texted us to check on us. While the air quality was bad (the AQI is better today, but the air still smells bad), fortunately, the evacuation zones didn't catch to our district. Bern and I are currently safe. On the watch duty app, it looks as if one of the fires are going in an opposite direction? Not great for those who are on the East of the fire! I basically just have to make sure to keep our air filter on. I lost some sleep and spent one whole night sealing up our windows & door. Some of the smokey air did seeped in a bit. I added a bit of humidity to clean our indoor air. As for today, I managed to get some sleep, especially after the 'accidental' heart-racing phone alerts.

My heart breaks for those from Pasadena & Altadena. This person described a bit of Altadena's history quite beautifully. Some of my favorite go-to spots are located there! If you follow my blog long enough, you probably read that I watch a lot of Huell Howser tv and somewhat of a local history nerd when it comes stories from the 20th century. As someone who loves everything involving rabbits, I was disheartened when I heard the Bunny Museum caught fire.

I had to put my workout routines to a halt, but I'm going to get back to doing my indoor workout today! Otherwise, I'll feel crummy and end up with a bad indigestion. Apparently someone was jogging in a neighborhood through a smokey air and my reactions were ''. Honestly, it's okay to skip fitness routine for a day or two. Breathing in the toxic air with no mask is quite awful. Perhaps work out indoors instead?!

After that, I'll do a bit of house organization. I know I have some practical clothes that no longer fits, I'm looking forward to donate them. There's a reason why I don't ever drop them off at most thrift places. I rather just give them away to those who wants them. I'm going to have to do some resources-hunting. So far, I found this list, thanks to my neighbors.

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: EMC Enjoy Music Club

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Photodump, enjoying the remaining holidays

Our December was cut short for these few reasons: Bern's busy work schedule, our refrigerator passed away (it was already elderly when we first got it), and I ended up with a pretty bad indigestion. Despite the mood-hiccups, we were able to enjoy the holidays by looking at the decorations from our mall-explorations*. We're pretty awed to find that more restaurants added outdoor seating. We noticed a restaurant that we liked relocated to a different street nearby! It looks like they upgraded to a sizable outdoor seating. Some places don't even require guests to walk in a building to get their seats waited. There seems to be a mixture of corporate-owned chains and family-owned businesses. It's nice to have options for brunch & dining.

I was pretty adamant about getting a lengthy walk steps, so Bern and I spent quite some time just going trough walkways, alleyways, and parking garages in the city; we basically vibed under interesting architectural spaces.

*mall-exploration- is that even a word? Well, it makes sense to me at the moment.

Alright, here's our 'mall exploration' photodump:

Taken from different days within our December/ January week. Just a stroll of visual-scavenger hunt. We had delicious doughnuts, but I think I will avoid sweets for awhile now

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: DJ HASEBE- Holiday CITY POP mix

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(no subject)

Credits to tumblr, shopping sites, & Pinterest for the images.

Happy New Yearssssssss everybody!

On a local level, I hope 2024 was kind to you all. My whole year was a combination of things: sadness & happiness. Overall, bittersweet but I am grateful. I won't elaborate on peculiar details because even for an online journal, it's a bit overwhelming to share-- I just want to focus on being present. I want to be able to dream the future.

I ended up making my first vision board, I love this idea because it's a great way to keep me focused without getting side tracked. I am someone who gets easily sidetracked; I believe a vision board will be beneficial for me. My top resolutions are: staying super fit, improve my artwork, do more experimental photography, & collage/archive... within my income/ lifestyle, I believe this will be attainable for me.

Here are my 2025 goals break-downs:

1. Staying Fit & Being Healthy

In order to not end up in ER, between my physician and I, I do have to lose a bit* of weight and it keep them under control. Yeah, my body is weird and cannot handle dramatic changes; I get digestive problems if I am not careful. I feel a "Wellness Journal" would be a great way to keep track of the things I eat, even if I have been eating clean, certain foods can trigger me-- possibly send me to ER if I go overboard with "triggering" foods. As for my cardio routines, I need to make sure I have at least 50-60s minutes per day to keep my bowels moving. After my GERD scare, it's a wakeup call for me to turn my physical wellness into my resolution.

Also, I wouldn't mind building a bit of muscle-- I want to continue to lift weights once again. Might just start with the dumbbells that I have atm just to restart my body building.

*Key words: a bit. For clarity: I'm not one of those people who are obsessed with wanting a specific body image. I do not have a poor image of myself nor am I extremely vain in that sense. Be sure to check in with your doctor before you decide to make some drastic lifestyle changes, everyone is built different!

from the left: art from January/ February 2024, WIP drawing from December 2024

2.Improve my artwork
I believe I need to start researching some some artists, read some books and start studying different camera angles for dynamic poses. I'd like to weave back into traditional art:mainly with gouache and watercolors-- sometimes it's just nice to get into organic movements with my art pieces. For 2024, it turns out that I haven't been filling up my sketchbook enough..but to be fair, I've been drawing digitally-- so I guess that makes up for it. I do want to continue to fill up where I left off just so I can practice my energy with my line work.

3.Experimental photography
I figured since life is short and that I am becoming comfortable in my own skin, I want to get back into experimental photography: self portraits & still life, street photography. Perhaps learn some special effects? After seeing these sets of photoshoot done by Kemmiethecat, I felt a strong urge to something fun. I'd like to have a fun 'pre-wedding' style photoshoots! Not sure exactly how the LA landscapes will correspond with Wong Kar Wai-film style; I'd imagine having his style of photoshoots with American Diner places would end up looking like My Blueberry Nights, unless if I were to do photoshoots in SF.

My journal sets from seven years ago

4. Collage, Journal & Archive
I want to make sure I have time to do some physical collages and junk-journaling to treasure some memories. I may incorporate these stuff with my sketchbook ideas. There are some things I cannot express within my personal website and I rather make a personal written journal about peculiar topics. Also, I this One Piece journal looks so nice. Don't worry, I'm not going to purchase them... I don't deserve them.

Apparently the internet is not forever, so I need to make sure i back up my favorite recipes, important videos and my favorite media before they vanish.

animal crossing screenshot of bern and i

Gameplay with Bern during our first year of the pandemic

5. Stay Connected
I believe in order to improve my artwork and gain new insight to a perspective, I think it's vital to have a healthy community to keep thee brain afloat. So far, I've joined some online art communities and they've been pretty sweet. It's nice to feel that I'm not alone with the drawings subjects that I chose to draw with my current skill level.

I also need to start finding communities that are immunocompromised-friendly; because I feel like I can provide support for those who needs someone like me or Bern

Not exactly sure where to start, but I'll figure it out.

Ins & Outs

Outs:
-Hopelessness
-Endless doom-scrolling
-Avoiding situations
-Anxieties
-Complete Alienation

Ins:
-Take direct action
-Repost aids; engage; inform; educate your peers; learn to garden
-Solving problems
-No doomer mindset
-Call mom/ dad
-Talk to neighbors
-Be a warrioress; be strong

Goals I've achieved:
-No caffeine for 4+ years
-Pretty consistent with fiber intake
-No artblocks, just hoards of art projects
-Found an art community (it's like my personal dive bar like the one in Cheers TV)
-Improved my cooking skills
-Low consumption/ under-consumption

Current Music: Christmas Eve- Tatsuro Yamashita

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Thoughts from a Winter holiday baby

Merry second day of Cribmas! Here's this Jingle Bell song in a Thai-folk style-- enjoy!

My birthday just passed! I never thought about whether or not I like having my birthday on a holiday until I had friends bring up this question in my adult life:

"Doesn't it suck to have a birthday during the Winter holidays?"

My answer to that has always been, "uhmm I don't know" or "I never really thought about it". Just recently, when I thought about it, I think I quite like being a winter baby! I don't mind Christmas or Yule decorations. Most of the time, I learned that I prefer the lack of attention between my social circles in real life. While most of my peers would be busy running holiday errands, I can go incognito with my special day. I grew up with having big gatherings with my extended family, so having a peaceful celebration is quite a change. Ever since I've been with Bern, my birthday traditions elevated to late night dinners and downtown strolls. For the past years, my birthday celebrations has been intimate-- that's how I like them.

This year, our refrigerator is now completely gone. I experienced a bit of headache (lack of sleep) and indigestion because I'm so used to having stored foods that requires refrigeration. It kind of made me felt physically off; ended up with a weird acid reflux. I think I am feeling a bit better now! Hopefully I'll feel Toguro-One-Hundred-Percent before New Years! Due to being super absorbed in my artwork, I tend to forget to incorporate my intensive exercises to my routine. This time, I will have to cut back my drawing schedule just a bit and start graduating myself towards stricter workouts. Between my physician and I, the way my body functions, we're hoping it's a way for me to smooth out my digestion. This should be another easy New Years' resolution for me, because it's super vital for me to have to keep up anyway.
Once I am well and our refrigerator gets replaced, I'll probably bake a cake for myself-- for a celebration do-over. Technically, the holidays are still around until the first week of January. I will be keeping our decorations up, just so I can space out to the warm rainbow lights...that's how I meditate.

Overall despite the acid reflux throat burns, I enjoyed my birthday. Bern and I looked at Christmas lights in decorated neighborhoods-- it was a perfect way to get our walking steps as our exercise. He took me to one of the best Thai restaurants in LA with outdoor seating; I ordered something simple (Pad Se Eew) because the dish has some green veggies in them. As usual, the foods came out perfect for both us.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and are receiving lots of love during the holidays!

Photodump:

Banh mi- probably was the last straw of my acid reflux trigger, I think I would have been find if I had a better digestion for that day. It was still delicious though! Pad se eww picture on the right.

A neighborhood with collaborative decorations (80 percent of the neighbors decorate).

Gifts from Bern! Got a Stussy doll; she's so pretty. Received a carbon steel wok, which means I really need to make sure I season this pan properly!

Entry tags:

(no subject)

As I said last month, I knew this December would be kind of a busy month for my partner and I! My folks stopped by; a couple of friends wanted to hang out with us over the weekend. I haven't seen my parents in person since last Spring, and we hung out with our friends (let's call them Koala & Dragon) separately last month. Basically, I made sure to keep our place tidy! We got Koala to watch archived Christmas specials for Saturday evening; just lowkey conversations of Christmas lights, their office parties, and vintage holiday specials. Dragon came over the next day to play some video games with Bern; lots of fun-competitive plays and energetic bursts. They played Super Monkey Ball. Out of all of Bern's local colleagues, they've been great about keeping in touch with him.

I baked brown butter cookies! The first batch came out a bit well done (still delicious), but I cut down the next cooking time down to a minute less and it came out perfect, with a bit of the chewiness in the middle. I also baked persimmon bread, with persimmons that I received from my parents' place. This year, they turned out humongous. My family is pretty green-thumbed.

christmas tree with icandescent multicolored lights

Oh, and so we finally picked up a Christmas tree; a fresh Noble Fir. It's been a week and it didn't dry out yet! For once, we used our own tree stand because we want room for the train toys to pass around the tree. You know how some people got miniature water fountains in their homes, with the sound of water as their asmr? Well toy trains are Bern's kinetic stimulation. I enjoy the presence of trains. I finished decorating the tree in a couple of days; it was very relaxing because I love taking my sweet time. I went with the usual: second-hand ornaments, gifted items, incandescent lights and collected pieces from the past years. I watched a bit of Kirsten & Joerg's holiday videos in the background-- they're very cozy and wholesome! They're such a handsome couple; charming personalities. I love their taste-- which is just classic deep red/ hunter green Christmas, with warm colors...similar to mid 90s holiday decors. They remind of some day time slice-of-life programs from local tv stations that partnered with PBS. Some people made comments that they lowered the blood pressure-- and they're correct!

My sister bought me some cute gifts!

I told her that she did not have to since I couldn't get her anything beyond the cupcakes and cookies that I've baked for her. She loves shopping for other people; no one can stop her. Literally no one. I'm going to save my stickers for scrap booking! She also got me practical things: mobile phone suction & slippers.

I also need to plan my birthday. I think I have an idea, but not exactly sure what I want to do during my birthday. If we do end up eating out-- it will be an outdoor sit-down place. Part of me wants to do a bit of window shopping at malls/ downtown areas, but I can't be in a place of crowds during the holidays in this timeline. I'm okay with flea markets/ open air places. I guess I can always search up some local museum stops & light installations. I'm lucky to live in area with a bunch of landmarks that doesn't involve indoor spaces. Since our refrigerator is unreliable for the third time

, I'm just going to skip out on baking myself a cake for now. There's no point in using up buttercream, eggs, ganache for them to go to waste. Dealing with improper food storage would frustrate me

, it would be unsafe to consume them. I may also have to avoid preparing dinners that requires overnight leftovers, just incase. If this continues this whole week, I would be okay with getting a local Chinese food takeout if any are open during Christmas day. Perhaps I'll end up having a 90s romcom movie* dinner for holidays.

*Okay, I know the link isn't really from a romcom movie nor is it from the 90s. But Sandra Oh looks like she could've starred in an iconic one.

Well despite our refrigeration malfunction, I was able to decorate and I had some time to work on my art! Here is my Drawcember art atm:

I made a Drawcember prompt list for myself just to simply get sucked into a festive mood. At least for me, it's pretty effective. Got my holiday movies in the background; hot cocoa around (but not close to my tablet). Yes, I'm a tad bit upset that I won't be able to cook my favorite foods but I'm also grateful things I'm able to do. Aside from essential needs....there's not a whole lot for me to ask for.

Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Ambiance Crossing

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The urge to go on a roadtrip with a lawnmower

a couple pics of my autumn strolls

As I was preparing my dinner rolls dough, my mom called me earlier today wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving". Then with concern, she asked me if my sister called me; apparently she caught a flu and haven't recovered. Not exactly sure how or where she caught the flu but hearing her getting sick made me anxious. I believe she caught some things in the past five years-- I hope it doesn't take a heavy toll on her body. I told my mom that I received a text from her related to pop culture news and such, so it seemed like she was doing fine.

Have any of you seen David Lynch's The Straight Story? Do you have sibling(s)? Not a spoiler: The lead character of this film, an elderly man by the name of Alvin Straight, gets a call from his niece that his younger brother fell. Hearing that information made the lead character panicked... his driving license is no longer good so he decides to take a road trip journey on a lawnmower to see his elderly-baby brother. He wants to go see him before it's too late.

I felt that. The bond between the Straight brothers. My sister isn't old and neither am I, but we both got health needs in different areas -seeing how things have been these past years made me cautious about how our physical health can turn out.

"I think I may have to head back to ER tonight" my sister texted. Even my mom was feeling a bit uneasy. My parents did offer to travel to her place for a wellness check, but according to my mom, she told them not to. So maybe it's not that serious? I don't think she is stubborn about asking for help if she needs it. I'll have to check back on her tonight or early morning to see if she's recovering.

I've been mostly in the kitchen all morning with 80s/90s M4cy*s Parade in the background, watching some of the clips ironically and praising certain performances. Bern basically vibed in the background as well. There were some interesting Broadway numbers/ creative floats but there were also some questionable/ outdated presentations as well. Watching the clips, we were able to gain fragments of insights on the culture and the attitudes of that time. So please note that because of our awareness of the historical past, we're NOT one of those people who romanticizes everything from our childhood era. Some things are meant to be kept in a time capsule-- that's perfectly okay for us. We want to move forward.

Bern got some days off, which means he got time to rest, disassociate & work on his personal projects. I'm really hoping my sister pulls through. I told her to make sure she gets plenty of fluid. Luckily, she got friends nearby to help out!

Anyway to my American friends: I hope you all are having a nice day off with loved ones (or alone if that's preferable)! Please take care of yourself & stay healthy!

polar teddy bear

Here are my photo dump of food pics:

Dinner Rolls Cambodian Fried Chicken

pumpkin pie with graham cracker crust apple walnut stuffing

apple salad orange mango vignaigrette

All prepared & made by me! I'm addicted to my mango-orange vinaigrette.

bunny angel

Journal update:
Seems like my sister is pulling through! She's just at the recovery stage of coughs and having a bit of a chest pain. No pneumonia atm. Probably will have a follow up the next week if she doesn't get better. I told her to have the humidifier around and eat soupy foods. I feel so bad for her because her housemate (landlord) isn't being reasonable to her and her room mate. Just seeing screenshots of texts & social media posts makes me want to scream for her-- I'm normally not the kind of person who yells. Fortunately, my sister is moving out; her plans got delayed because of the flu. My family and I are sensing she might not get her security deposit back, which I wonder if that could be illegal? Hmmmm we shall see.

Current Mood: grateful

Entry tags:

Closet Clean Up; Errands

Over a decade ago, I made some shopping errors: one of them happened to a giant Betsy Johnson bag, made of pleather. I'm starting to find that some of my pleather clothes are starting to peel, with the outcome of tedious clean-ups.

I loved the bag-- got quite some use from it. The chains seems pretty sturdy and bag liner is good shape-with such a cute cherry printed fabric! I just loathe how the exterior turned out over time. I'll have to find a way to salvage the pieces that are still intact, it would require a heavy-duty seam ripper to take them apart. As years passed, I find that I need purchase my needs with care and strict examinations. Luckily, I still have some other purses/bags that are in decent quality within my small collection... my best ones are my second-hand bags gifted by my aunt & mom (80s fashion).

It started raining this week; just a week of errands. Now that I got them out of the way, I can finally rest. Oh never mind, I still got a bit of house tasks to work on. Also, I'll be hanging out in the kitchen prepping some things. I don't know if I'll be able to get back with my artwork and do a little bit of my game logs until the end of this week.

For my OOTD: I had a sweater duster, newsboy hat, white boots, deep green sweater, & gray skirt all with solid colors. I guess I'll call it Snoopycore Autumn? Yes, I know I'm a bit of a basic witch when it comes Snoopy, but I have a connection to the character for hometown reasons. These ensembles don't quite flatter my kibbe silhouette and that's okay because: 1. it was an uneventful day 2. there's no need to disregard comfortable clothes when it still fits.

Took some photos during my errands. Bern and I hit rush hour as we head back home, we basically played, "Eye Spy Games" with Christmas lights and old food signs. We drove through several neighborhoods with some festive lights and took notes of some diner places that we passed.

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Location: Los Angeles
Current Music: Lepreezy's nostalgic winter night

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Episode 7 of Dan Da Dan- my reactions

I pretty much felt gloomy after watching the seventh episode of Dandadan series, it was a bit of a surprise to catch a serious tone from a comedic anime about ghosts and aliens. Bern was saying how the theming of Dandadan (not to confuse it with style) felt like a David Lynch's writing approach on tragic characters. When he mentioned that, I knew what he was talking about! The Acrobatic Silky's past reminded of Laura Palmer's and Diane Selwyn's backstory from Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. All three of those characters experienced intense trauma that were beyond their control, it's as if society has failed them all.

Bern also pointed out that the 'Aliens' from Dandadan felt like they represent toxic masculinity, they're about domination, control and strong desire to take over the human race. With all the 'ghosts' symbolizing femininity, they tend be filled with rage- years of pain building up over time. Every time a ghost gets 'tamed' in the series, the viewer in the end begins to understand and sympathize with the spirits. It seems as if all the spirits were once human, trying to survive life and got hit with brutal death/ or passed with no peacefulness in mind.

Both Bern and I love hearing Nerdy Daily's comments, we've been watching his One Piece reactions. His articulation with this episode was very beautiful,

"In not leering at her, not even showing the men, it is instead completely about her perspective. It centers her pain in the story and her anger and it so deeply allows us to emotionally connect with what she becomes, the spirit of vengeance.."

Similar to how Diane Selwyn was a lindy hop dancer, we learned that the Acrobatic Silky ghost was a ballerina-- both were living in a poverty with the harsh work life that involves moonlighting. Diane Selwyn's rage snapped from the feeling of rejection and humiliation, living in the Hollywood dreams. The Acrobatic Silky's case was having her daughter taken away from a group of yakuza, probably had a mountain of debt that she could not pay back on time.

As you can see from my updates, I made a new blog page layout revolving around the Nutcracker, pink tulle and frosted snowflakes. The ballerina gif is a coincidence with Acrobatic Silky character-- it is unrelated, I promise. I got my design inspiration from a number of memories: the Nutcracker ballet plays, mom's shabby chic bath set, a white gold locket gifted by mom, shopping at Claire's during the holidays, and Lipsm4ckers makeup collection filled with glitter. Just like my autumn layout, the profile picture drawing was done by Bern, from iphone doodle.

Not counting the tree, I managed put all our holiday decorations up! We have a small space, so it was a pleasant way of storing our Halloween decorations away. I find that boiling a pot of water with slice lemons, cinnamon sticks, nutmeg, ginger and cloves really brings out the cozy atmosphere. We even had a friend (Bern's colleague) over in the weekend, apparently he was in Scotland weeks ago during Halloween and showed us some scenic pictures. Bern and him talked about their creative projects and caught up with their updates in their social circle. Since we'll be inching towards a bunch of festivities, we did get into a conversation on nostalgia and our family customs. We all grew up with different traditions, customs and such; we shared about the the food we loved and *certain* family events that weren't pleasant. Our friend grew up in another Anglophone country from a different continent & season pattern, so his experiences were drastically different from our childhood. It was quite interesting to hear all the food he had has a child. Between Bern and I, while we're pretty much from the same hometown and had the collective 90s American public school experience, ours were slightly different because I was raised by a large household, predominantly Asian. Bern grew up with the Tommy Pickles' holidays. Bern was explaining to his friend that we both ended up making new traditions for ourselves as a couple living together; our holidays became pretty magical once again ever since we started dating fifteen years ago. It became even more magical ever since we started moving in together. Having a place where a couple can set their own rules and lifestyle really makes quite a difference! Don't get me wrong, we love our parents..we're just adults who needs our own kitchen space sometimes. I'm lucky to have a partner who enjoys my decorations

Do you guys have any special plans for this upcoming month? Or any stressful plans to dodge? Whatever the outcomes, I hope it all goes well for you all!

Current Mood: artistic
Current Location: Los Angeles
Current Music: Evening At the Jazz Bar- Youtube

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Because I need to energize my mood, I started decorating my living room with holiday lights. I know it seems early to most, but I find it less overwhelming in the early weeks of November. I spent the whole day rearranging my items....and I'm not even near to being done. I hope to get most of my displays set up before this weekend (not counting the tree). Just like last year, my decorations will be a mish mash of random things-- nothing fashionable, just old items I accumulated over the years. Bern was quite happy to see some of our lights going up. We talked about how much we adore incandescent lights. It felt like our living room expanded when we switched them on.

Aside from my usual house tasks and errands, I finished my phantom and my succubus drawing, basically my prompts from my personal Drawtober. I'm not sure how long I'll last with my Drawtober prompts. It's not even that I don't want to draw them, I just don't want to draw spooky- prompts during the two last remaining months of the year. This is just how I personally like to vibe with my seasons. No offense to anyone who doesn't feel the same way.

I intend the 'phantom' boy to be my OC character, loosely inspired by Erik from the Phantom of the Opera. So yes, he's part of my vampire boy/ witch girl/zombie bride gang. He's pretty much room mates with the Vampire character I drew last month, lives in a basement with sound proofed walls, a great synth player, and is selective with his people-interaction (for instance, he's only comfortable with his vampire friend)...he is trying his best to break out of his shell. OLuckily, he got his outgoing vampire friend to help him with that. Once you get to know him, he loves getting into deep conversations that will make you think about the universe. As for the succubus girl, I'm not sure if I want her to be part of my monster critters-gang universe.

Despite falling out of October's spookiness, I had fun drawing these last prompts.

Bern and I finally got around to watching One Piece Red

. We only watched it because we just wanted some canon hints to Shanks' backstory. Keep in mind that we're pretty far behind in the manga reading, so learning a little bit of Shanks' backstory was a revelation for us. I thought the movie was enjoyable, I liked it, but I didn't love it. It's a good thing that the lead antagonist isn't canon to the series. The power-scaling of the One Piece series would be completely off.

And that was my week. I just have to make sure my ADHD doesn't get a hold of me, doing the best I can to hydrate, exercise, and snack on time. I have to remind myself to stretch more often!

Turns out I'm seeing a friend this weekend, I think my energy will be there.

Little goals for myself for the remaining of this month:

Complete my holiday decorations

Extend my exercise routines; remember to stretch

Clean/ reorganize the fridge

Move on to a different drawing project

I don't have much else to say but to just make sure you give this site a free click, if you haven't yet. Also if you're able to, be sure to check out your local communit y if they're in need of anything, (canned drives/ medical masks/ other essential needs)...or if you're in need anything (it's okay to ask for help). You can even check out the bulletins at your local public library! Talk to your neighbors (obviously don't, if they're unkind). Stay safe & be healthy.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Los Angeles
Current Music: Jazz Cafe Ambience

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A Lie: Trunk-Or-Treat Ruined Halloween

My OOTD

As much as I enjoyed Halloween, it was super overwhelming for me this year.

A big part of it is that I'm not the kind of person who no longer does physical interaction with my folks on a daily basis; I decided to hang out with my sister before Halloween day..ended up being exhausted on Halloween. I don't see my sister quite often, so I have no regrets. We ended up watching The Babysitter, Bride of Chucky, and The Babysitter 2 all in one night. The movie is campy, unserious and stupid in an entertaining way. I gifted my sister a set of pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, since her birthday passed just weeks ago.

Pumpkin Cupcake with cream cheese frosting

On the actual Hallow's Eve night, our dad sent a text to us wishing us a Happy Halloween. He sent clips of his neighbors' decorations. My parents almost ran out of candies. There hasn't been any trick-or-treaters in their neighborhood for seven years until this year. New affordable homes have been built, people my age with steady income started having children since the start of the pandemic. I guess our old neighborhood isn't aging out after all. According to Bern, people who complained about Trunk-Or-Treat ruining Halloween are just imagined scenarios...I giggled when he said that.

I literally grew up with non-neighborhood trick-or-treating in the 90s/ early 200s: theme parks, malls, & harvest fairs.

WIP- Phantom Boy

Just a note for next time, I need to make sure I spread my days apart. Sometimes I wish the sink can wash the dishes itself, the kitchen cooks its own food, or the floor self-mops itself....and unfortunately that will never happen. And no, I do not own a dishwasher. As for now, I am finally happy to have a bit of time for myself. I can now get back to catching up on my drawing prompts and work on my sketches.

For the weekend, Bern and I were able to catch some Halloween decorations displayed in a city part of LA County. The city had a decorating contest, so we did a scavenger hunt looking for some interesting homes to gawk at. I was quite impressed by this clown house. It's very thematic. I do wonder if the house owner does animatronic designs for a living? Would not be surprised if that happens to be case. Prior, to our neighborhood stroll, we ordered some delicious empanadas..the place wasn't too far from our destination.

While it was quiet, Bern and I managed to check out a bookstore with an interesting layout! So much plants in there, I love the feel of green things. It looks like a bookstore with combination of new & used books.

Here are pics of my costume! I dressed up as a biblically accurate angel, the kind with tons of eyeballs. I figured it feels horrifying for me, so I went with that. Everything I did here was last minute using whatever materials I have at home: old dresses, broken jewelry, makeup, paint, crafting paper, & scrapbooking materials. I didn't feel like spending money on supplies that will sit in my closet for it to be become a hoarded item. I basically treated my costume like a one-day art project

So did I enjoy this week? I certainly did. All it is, I just wish my plans were a little more spread out. See, and this is why I don't ever complain when my peers decides to put their festive decorations up early. Okay, I still like my spooky season but I don't mind hearing Bing Cosby on the radio. Sorry, I'm a weirdo.

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: SeasideFM- stream

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Good afternoon! It's 86 degrees Fahrenheit, not much of a fall-temperature today, but I'll take it over 106 degrees. Just finished my clown girl drawing from last week! I have a feeling I may not get through all the drawing prompts all in one month, but that's fine, because it's not like I made any actual deadlines for my Spooktober (Drawtober) project. I haven't experienced any art blocks so far. In fact, I have been getting super stimulated: craft projects, housekeeping, & drawing. It also happens to be that I've been so preoccupied with tasks, and at times, I've been feeling off (health-wise). I hope this blog is a great reminder for myself to take breaks and not forget my extensive walks-- got to keep my bowels movin'!

Anyway, here's my most recent drawing:

I'm pretty content how my clown girl drawing turned out! I wanted to portray clowns in a delicate, graceful manner-- similar to Mira Fujita's artwork. I don't think I capture that mood a hundred percent, however, I enjoyed drawing this doll.

Not sure what to name her, but she's a spunky character who likes to cheer people up. I think I should continue to draw more clown bunnies? I love drawing clowns!

Oh, and here are the rest of my Halloween decorations:

Just basically items that I've been DIYing and collecting for about eight years. I just incorporate them with my non-Halloween stuff. I might not repeat this exact set up for next year, so we shall see what I come up with next time. As for this year's mantle, I'm satisfied with it. This is apartment life after all-- just making the most with whatever I have.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: FakeGentle假斯文

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Halloween Decorations WIP

Happy Saturday, to you all!

Right now, I'm still in a slow process of assembling my Halloween decors. I basically treat some of my pokemon dolls, an old Happy Meal toy, & autumn artwork as my spooky szn house decorations. I think so far, this is my favorite way of assembling my "table corner" (pic down below on the left). I know I will look back on my blog for next year and repeat this set up.

Our art table (pic on the right) is a bit of a clutter, but storing our non-pretty things would be less practical and nonfunctional for since we both rely on having our tools out in the open. With the amount of space in our apartment, we just got to use whatever space we have! It's a challenge for sure. I feel like I'm always playing Animal Crossing- Happy Homes with our space. It's fun in that regards! However, I do lose track of time and I would forget to hydrate.

I'll post the rest of my Halloween decorations tomorrow!

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Drawtober & some minor fridge issues

So it turns out our freezer isn't working properly. Once again, we had to throw some of our frozen foods away: fruits and mixed vegetables. We did end up eating our melted non-dairy ice cream...or shall I say our 'non-dairy milkshake'? While Bern and I prefer to eat our ice cream cold, it wasn't too bad. It was a little too chocolatey for our like liking, at least in its melty form. Anyway, Bern's uncle will head over this weekend to examine our fridge. He's suspecting that we're having a bit of a leak. We're very grateful to have a relative who repairs refrigerators for a living.

This week, I've been keeping up personal tasks: medical imaging appointments, scheduling, physical activities, house organizations, de-cluttering junk mails & Drawtober art project.

I finally completed my Zombie Bride drawing! I believe I officially created an OC from this character. So for one, she's not a flesh-eating zombie. I would say she's more on par with Dragon Quest type of zombies, the kind of petty monsters that exists randomly out of thin air or were born as monsters. Once in awhile with Dragon Quest monsters, especially with zombies, some of them are just non-threating NPCs living normal lives. No tragic backstory, she's has been a 'zombie' her whole life. I was also inspired by romantic floral designs, so I wanted to incorporate that to her look. So here's her lore so far:

Her name is Cora
Loves the smell of petrichor
Sometimes wears designers' fragrance, but usually likes to douse in an inexpensive body spray (a lovely scent) from a consignment store
Works & models for a haunted bridal boutique...or bridal BOO-tique (okay, I'll shut up)
Loves gardening & loves fabrics
She's may appear to look like a corpse, but she's actually made out of fiber
Generally has a quiet demeanor, overall introvert but at the same time she enjoys good company from others

Also, I just learned that there's a drawing prompt called, "Peacetober" by (IG)coffeesforgaza. I don't have a lot for my personal Drawtober prompt, so I should be able to do some prompts from Peacetober drawings. If you are having an art block and you want to help amplify awareness, please check them out, and participate!

Current Mood: artistic

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Halloween Costume Inspiration: Hopeless Romantics

Maybe I have mentioned it somewhere else in my blog, I don't remember exactly, but I did spent some time studying fashion while I also worked at one of those fast-fashion trendy clothing store. I would often frequent to Polyvore to brainstorm clothing sets; I even used them for both work and school. As someone who doesn't believe in "not dressing up" as an option for Halloween, of course you would expect me to do some brainstorming on Halloween costumes with my "Polyvore" style collages!

I'm not sure if I want to do a solo costume or whether I'll be dressing Bern up. I know on Bern's end, he does strive for comfort and conventional. As for me, I love getting primped up, especially on days where I'm likely to be home eating pizza and watching scary movies.

Do you want to help me decide on an outfit? Well, I compiled some clothing set collages. Perhaps I can help you decide on an outfit? Maybe we help each other decide! Feel free to use them, I have NOTHING to gatekeep. If it saves you time, money and space...please just use them!

1. Bridget Jones & Mark Darcy from Bridget Jones's Diary
To those who cosplay anime and video game characters: I would imagine owning a bunny suit would be a staple. I personally want a tailored kind. If I can get template designs made by the inventor of the bunny suit, Zelda Wynn Valdes, I would be ecstatic to sew a corseted leotard. However, I'm sure knock-off version would be more on brand with Bridget Jones's frazzled Englishwoman lewk. My hair is currently dark and I have a Barbie wig that isn't mousy enough. I feel like someone with naturally dark hair with grown-out bottle blonde roots could pull this look too! Bern got a couple of sweaters in his closet. Since, I have some felt materials, I would just construct a reindeer-shaped patch with some safety pins to build an ugly (I don't think they're ugly) Christmas sweater. Note: I don't condone smoking, hence my suggestion on the "fake puff cigarettes".

2. Pikachu & Ketchup Bottle
Usually when it comes to Pokemon costumes for Halloween, couple pairing tends to be Pikachu & Ash. I don't think I ever spotted Pikachu & Ketchup as a pairing. I think this idea is super fun because I can see myself constructing a bottle-shaped cap to signify a ketchup bottle. I don't own a banana colored Selkie dress, I do have a couple of 60s inspired pale yellow dresses. I think a gold-colored tulle skirt would work too. I want to avoid buying clothes I would wear once and utilize garments I would wear on other days too. I feel with accessories like ears and tails are DIY-able, especially if you have some card boards and acrylic paints around. I would combine yellow & glittery gold paint for the accessories. OR you can find a beautiful yellow fabric with a nice gold sheen and sew them up! I imagine black sequins would be great for embroidering.

3. Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet
I think the only thing I would have to add to this look is the angel wings. If I can DIY the wings with some found objects at home, this whole outfit set would be $0 for me. I don't think this set idea is in any way unique, I'm sure there will be plenty of people who are planning these outfits, however, they're iconic. Sometimes going for the most basic and iconic look is a perfect way to not trash your wardrobe.

4. Michiru & Haruka from Sailor Moon
I hope to see more couples sporting this look! Both Michiru and Haruka are super stylish! Well, technically all of the Sailor Scouts looked like they walked out of a fashion magazine from the 80s. I feel the hair style & hair color are the most important part of the set. I think having a wand as a prop would be a great way to indicate the character. 80s & 90s outfit shouldn't be too difficult to obtain(gosh, I hope not), otherwise, I would look for things that were manufactured in the 2010s. For instance, I still have a shoulder padded blazer from 4ever21. Depending on your social circle, keep in mind that not everyone outside a certain age group and outside of Asia is aware of Sailor Moon characters beyond their uniforms.

5. Vegeta & Bulma from Dragon Ball Z
I decided this set because the "Badman" lettering on Vegeta's shirt cracks me up. I'm also quite jealous of Bulma... her outfits are always fun, sporty and stylish. She's not afraid of staying up to trend and doing new stuff with her hairstyles. I might not pick this set for this year's Halloween. As soon as COVID is non-existent and if we attend to one of our friends' parties...I think a Dragon Ball costume would be fun to wear around friends. The majority of our friends are artists, particularly for the entertainment industry so most of them are Toriyama fans!

Again, feel free to take these ideas, gender-bend them, and put your own spin to the characters however you like

. No, I am not taking any commissions from a4mazon. I highly recommend second hand clothes, clothes from your closet, DIY props & local costume shops (if any in your town).

Current Location: Los Angeles
Current Music: American Graffiti OST

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I've been meaning to share some pics that were taken from a different week! Awhile back, after running some errands, Bern took me to an interesting soda shop ( as seen on California's Gold with Huell Howser & Watcher youtube channel). This place, as seen on tv, happens to be a complete gem! The soda shop consists of: a deli, 50s/60s music playlists, vintage soda brands, classic toys, international drinks and some rare candies that you're likely to not encounter at a regular store. They also have a soda-maker booth where you customize your own soda in a bottle. If you want, you can do a non-carbonated drink. And no, they're not like the fountain drink machines you would find at a Booger King. I ended up getting a strawberry-flavored milk because I wasn't too sure if my stomach can handle anything fizzy on that day. It was a perfect drink for my missed "breakfast". The store's atmosphere was very quiet. I also spotted the store owner of the place, doing inventory, physically stocking up food and drinks-- it's amazing how the shop isn't run by some faceless person. As a person who tends to feel uneasy in crowded indoor areas, it was a perfect place to get lost in..even if was for 10-15 minutes!

vintage novelties vintage soda

vintage or unique soda strawberry milk

*Keep in mind, As much as I find the vintage and graphic ads collection fascinating, I do have issues with K0ca-K0la as a corporation.

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Happy Fall Equinox to you all! This past week, we're now back to 70 degrees Fahrenheit! I think my body may have adjusted to the super hot weather that a temperature slightly below room temperature is starting to feel a bit cooler to me-- no complaints. We finally got our refrigerator fixed, and so far, it seems to be running smoothly! Bern's uncle & aunt were pretty helpful with getting our refrigerator to work & despite me not agreeing with some of their outlook on certain things, they were overall pretty pleasant to talk to. All I know is that they do like pies, so maybe I could bake up something for them? I know when the holiday hits, we will definitely send them some things for sure. I even told my mother about them.

Currently, I'm also looking forward to collect more kitchen essentials: a carbon steel wok and a sturdy toaster or stainless steel mini-toaster oven. I'm not exactly sure where to start looking for them because reading reviews and researching products feels like a heavy chore. I also need to replace some of my cooking sauces, as I mentioned in my last entry, I ended up throwing them away because I had no place to refrigerate them. Bern and I are on a tight budget, so it felt very wasteful for us.

vampy shoujo bat boi zombie bride

I also kept myself busy by working on my drawing prompts, making up stories in my head with Halloween-themed characters. I just got done with my handsome Vampy Albino-bat person. Currently working on my zombie bride OC atm, I wanted to her to have a super frilly, Princess-like look. The lore behind the zombie bride is that she existed as a zombie her whole life since she was born and she's not really a bride, she models for a vintage bridal boutique and works part-time as a stylist. She loves the smell of air before the rain hits the ground, the feel of moist dirt, & wears floral scented perfume. A lot of my drawings are made for my personal amusement, so far, it prevented me from senseless doom-scrolling. While I do enjoy getting lost in my drawings, I do want to improve my movements and anatomy of my art.

Also, this post is a self-reminder that I don't ever want to work for a company like this So if you're reading this, please remember to take good care of yourself!

Current Location: Los Angeles

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I am hella done with the three degrees temperature weather, I believe we broke the record of having the hottest day in history for this city. I believe most locals are used to mild temperature; having to experience abrupt heat can be dangerous. I'm usually a wuss when it comes to 85 degrees temperature days, but at this point, I'll take the 85 over the 112 degrees Fahrenheit. Tomorrow should be our last super-hot day, by Wednesday, it will be 83 degrees.

This past week, our refrigerator broke .... we had to throw some of our groceries out T___T. Bern ended up getting a mini fridge (for temporary use) to store some of our foods. His uncle, who repairs refrigerators for a living, came over to diagnose our fridge; it turns out that we had a leakage. He was able to have it running for another day until the coolness stopped circulating once again and the freezer remained nonfunctional. Depending on Bern's uncle schedule, it will probably be a week or two until he comes over again to fully fix our refrigerator. It's a good thing that we have a mini refrigerator, because we are not paying for a week of takeouts-- they're way too costly. For now, we will to avoid grocery shopping in bulk, we also have to avoid buying frozen foods.... otherwise, they would not all fit in our mini fridge.

Also, I made a mistake of watching Incantation(2022)

. Normally, I don't have strong reactions from watching most horror films... but this one really got me (I have to admit, it was creatively well-done). I was raised by Buddhist grandparents (specifically Theravada), I know the film isn't even the same sect of Buddhism, a lot of things were fictional and bastardized, but I think the familiarity of the imagery is probably what frightened me. Never again. I even warned my younger sister to never watch it, but she heard of the film and had already deterred away from watching it. She questioned why I even watched it in the first place, Bern asked the same thing. Let's just say that I am banned from ever watching something like that again, just for my blood sugar's sake despite being a non-believer. I ended up watching one of Vinesauce's reactions with archived public tv vids and some 80s/90s Halloween commercial to cleanse the dark images from my mind. I'm okay with campy horror, John Carpenter, creature features, & gothic horror. But I'm a baby when it comes to paranormal folk-horror.

If you've been following my blog enough, for protective health reasons, I haven't been able to consistently interact with most of our friends in a physical form. With a combination of hosting Bern's relatives and one friend really took my social batteries out (as expected) so I slept for hours this morning. I have no regrets because they were all pretty pleasant to interact with, especially with our friend(let's call him Dragon) who came over to play video games. We mostly talked about the weather, Nintendo games, Totaka Kozumi, card games, apartment prices, art/ animation industry & their (Bern's & Dragon's) other colleagues from their art college. I'm glad that Dragon came over to hang out with us because I know Bern values his friendship and does his best to keep in touch with them.

To get in the mood for Spooky Szn, I started my Spooktober drawings by using my own prompt. I'm in the slow process of writing characters in my head. Anyways, feel free to roam around in my cara app.

Below, I made a list of my Spooktober prompt...I don't have much of a following, but feel free to participate! They're basically just going to be pretty monsters, hence the title "Alluring Spooktober". I love drawing mostly buxom bunny and kitty women, but I want to go out of my comfort zone and draw some beautiful critter men too. So far, here's my attempt on Alucard:

Current Music: 1994 N O S T A L G I A (vaporwave mix)

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Since it has been very warm, and a lot warmer in other places, my sister Conis decided to head over to my place to hang out with me. We ended up getting dinner at an outdoor restaurant (I do not dine indoors atm)-- it's pretty decent. We ordered a shrimp roll, a set of crunchy lobster roll (delicious btw), & sashimi. I got myself an udon bowl with tofu. My sister insisted on picking up the tab-- she pretty much initiated the dine out. sushi rolls

I have to keep my food orders pretty basic, for what it is, the broth for my noodles were quite delicious. I love that we get a fresh fruit as a way to end our meals. The atmosphere is quite nice and casual too-- we basically lightly bopped our heads to K-Pop music playlist that they had in the background.

Since my sister picked up the tab, I decided to bake her a set of cinnamon rolls from scratch after getting back home to my place, I had the dough prepped prior to our outing. We pretty much just caught up with stuff & spilled family tea.